the winter night

I was dancing in a jungle last friday night

fahrrad fah r r r en

cold blood

When my parents were young, they used to have a little crocodile  from the Nile living in the bathtub. They called him Shovek.
Shortly before I was born, as they came back from a small vacation, the crocodile was gone. 
Bam! Vanished. No one saw him again.
They say he went through the plughole to join his fellows in the New York City sewer system.

There is something wrong, since I came to this cold land. 
My skin got harder, my blood colder.
And every full moon I need to take quiet, long, hot baths.

te pinté para recordar que estás lejos

recibí tu virgen Peruana, 
tan fucsia  y amarilla y verde y turquesa
me va a proteger los colores durante el invierno
igual que las flores de tu cabeza

zu verschenken 1

vacuum cleaner and umbrella

I have a terrible backpain and a nice german doctor gave me these magical pills

words

there are things to be avoided
if I pronounce it I cry
if I write it I travel to the past

so I remain silent

some radical acts

need to be kept clandestine

don't fear the elephants

he de posar aquesta cita. i aquesta foto.

les nenes no tenen por dels elefants

 

"I JUST KNEW IN A QUIET WAY I WAS RUINED. 

IF I AGREED TO BE FEMALE. THERE WAS SO MUCH EVIDENCE

ON THE SCREEN AND IN BOOKS. I READ DORIS LESSING 

IN LITERATURE CLASS AND THAT DEPRESSED THE SHIT 

OUT OF ME TOO. I JUST HATED READING WORK BY WOMEN 

OR ABOUT WOMEN BECAUSE IT ALWAYS ADDED UP THE SAME. 

LOSS OF SELF, ENDLESS SELF-ABNEGATION EVEN AS THE FEMALE 

WAS TRYING TO BE AN ARTIST, SHE WOUND UP PREGNANT, DESPERATE,

WAITING ON SOME MAN. A MARXIST GUY, PERHAPS. WHEN WOULD IT END."

Eileen Myles, in her foreword to I Love Dick, by Chris Kraus

S. Kubrick 1948

night after night

on thursday I killed her.

I am new, I am a murderer

sunday, I can't stand up from the toilet

the old one is all digested

endless shit

monday.

a whole year has already passed, unnoticed

and he is leaving again

what!?

how many ends does the sausage have?

heat

and wind

the woman and the crocodile

reencarnation after reencarnation
they find each other
sooner or later
in every live
the woman and the crocodile

1/40

only 1/40 ^th of the sunlight belongs to the blue part of the spectrum.

when the sunlight travels through the air it is scattered in all directions by the tiny particles in the atmosphere.

 

the blue light travels in shorter waves than the red, the yellow, the green... 

 

the intensity of the light scattered by a particle is proportional to the inverse fourth power of the wavelength. 

the blue wins. we see the blue. we see 1/40 ^th

el tità Atlas va morir de tristesa

aquest cel de berlin . tan pesat i tan absent . se'ns tira a sobre

cada dia . tan pesat i tan absent . alçar la mirada i no trobar-lo

no veig cap final feliç . gaudir mentre duri . i plorar quan s'acabi 

pepinillos en vinagre

map of a conversation 11-7-2015. scroll lateral

<< Quiero pelarme el culo danzando desnudo al ritmo de tambores paganos alrededor de una hoguera, agradecerle a gritos al universo la bendición del agujero que sus ojos negros abrieron en mí. Y qué si no soltó todas las prendas. Y qué si fue un cabrón persistente y obstinado. Nunca volveré a ser el mismo después de Hank Christian y doy gracias a Dios por ello. >>

TOM SPANBAUER. Yo te quise más

 

sailors

rowing all the way from the Mediterranean to the Maybachufer

where is it?

berliner sommer.the cold beauty in grey 

summer storm washing machine

Bandini waited until spring, too

how to open a pressure valve

no horror vacui put on the pijama and enjoy the view

a midsummer night's dream

last sunday night I dreamt.

I was about to go to the US for 2 years

that was my plan

I had a flight booked since long ago, and I should leave in a few days

and in the dream I thought, oh berta are you sure you want to leave everything behind?

no I am not.

I don't want to quit my job. I don't want to leave berlin. I don't want to start from scratch again.

I like what I have now

all this weirdness.

I will miss my flight, and I will stay here.

This I dreamt last sunday night

 

there is this old cruel secret shared among architects

when a tree is bothering 
the architect knocks into its trunk a copper nail during the night
...within three months the tree will be dead

when I clogged all my body holes with concrete

the 10 last days of the last 487 days

I watched a flower die in my window
          -countdown-
the only goal of time
is to kill

to lose

if we were excavators

would we be digging all our life the same hole, until we would find ourselves so deep that we could not drive back up?

why the universe will stay balanced the next few days

die deutsche Grammatik macht mich* sehr traurig

am Dienstags und Donnerstags Abends,
bitte, bitte,
stirb mit mir in den klasse

*thanks K!

did you ever wake up?

-how long does it take to read all the verses?
-the water is not freezing yet...

talk

-don't worry. I am sleepwalking 
-then I will be a plant, so I don't wake you up

some of these days...

you're gonna miss me honey
the best concert I danced to since I returned, ages ago...THE EUFORIA IS BACK

Meschiya Lake , Russel Welch &
Dizzy Birds at Bassy

Ring

camina en cercles comptant els que falten

oblida els que ha completat

ignorant d'on bufa el vent

ja no hi ha terminis i tot és sempre al mateix lloc

però a cada volta 

s'enamora de nou

april 9

this thing, again
it's been a long time

the small pain,
the beauty out there

julia i miniman

barcelona tiene poder 
tiene bars de pirates
plens de mafiosos i de pols,
sense tresor

una lluna de sang,
una nit de primavera ,
una matinada al cangrejo,
paguen sis mesos d'aridesa
i llegeixen el  futur

pineapple, banana, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer ...

benjamin was in the toilet, I was a potato

acelgas

ay ay ay!

when the monkeys from the zoo see you working on your thesis
they discuss in esperanto about all these holes
 
you can't hear the hyenas laughing
they are lost in el desierto

so get strong, machine
and don't stop walking
I come after you

zukunft

No t'hi capfiquis, pel futur. Les línies de la teva mà el mostren ben clar:
olor de tancat
moqueta vermella
i bonys a les cames

peeping tom.vader

diuen que les plantes s'assemblen als seus amos

Avui m'he llevat amb les cortines noves, 

noves de fa cinc mesos però que no vaig penjar fins ahir. Amb tornavís, perquè el taladro que m'han deixat té el cable massa curt, i no estic segura de poder-lo fer anar sense provocar una catàstrofe. Estan molt arrugades, ja les planxaré.

Que bonic quan entra el sol al matí. Quina falsa primavera.

He reprès la bicicleta, posada a punt després de l'hivernació.

He tirat la carta que vaig escriure ahir a la nit.

I he canviat de llista de reproducció a l'spotify. 

Diu My name is peligro.

latewinter selfportait

the sun
sometimes
doesn't want to let us forget
that summer is coming

la paciència

diuen que he de tenir paciència
en general. és el consellconsol per a tot.
però com ho fan ells, per tenir paciència?
la roben? n'estalvien? d'on la treuen?

si ja ho sé, que tot és lent i tot vol temps
que el temps és l'únic que fa menys insolucionables les coses insolucionables
que vísteme despacio que tengo prisa
que el que és bo es fa esperar
que mica en mica s'omple la pica
que la paciència és la mare de la ciència
i que bla bla bla

però què hi vols fer
una altra cosa no,
però la paciència la tinc mal col·locada

sí, el paisatge no hi té res a veure, però a falta de paciència, pinzells

oh! the thing is so difficult until the time it turns cool and easy

there is water, there is smoke, a bird, an amusement park

daydreams

 

 

I dream a lot when I sleep. Always, every night.
I think I dream about the lifes I lived before this one.

Tonight:
we were lying in bed again and you told me that you decided to go to the war for five years
-what war I don't know, but it was a real war, I mean you were going to kill people and you would probably also die-
What a stupid change of plans

I woke up crying
I guess I had a great love once, that was killed in a war. 
Maybe in ancient China, perhaps in I World War

And still when I am awake I daydream all the time
but whatever I daydream, I never remember it
I wonder if daydreams are about our future lifes

anar i venir

torna i marxa i torna a marxar
i en un miratge breu
divisa entre la boira
un home llop que s'allunya dels monstres

hold the bags

today it's sunny
tomorrow I will fly home

tracks tracks tracks tracks tracks...

seguir passejant sota les vies en totes les vides

die Rechnung bitte or the corridor dance

PinkPipe

he came out from the deepest waters of the Spree and took an old rusted building as a shell
near the Tiergarten S-Bahn